Ever since arriving at this hotel (my flight was delayed by a day so the airport sent me to this incredible hotel) I have felt a bit uneasy. The hotel is amazing--I'm not sure if I have ever stayed anywhere this nice before in my life--but it all feels very over-the-top and its hard to compare this lifestyle to those of the families living in the slums and IDP camps. I feel out of place here and undeserving. Not in a self-defeating way, but more in the sense that no one really needs or deserves such extravagance when there are so many people living with nearly nothing.
There are just so many unsettling disconnects:
I just came from the most amazing breakfast of my life: a buffet of exotic fresh fruits, cheeses, muffins, yogurts, cereals, an omlette bar, crepes, pancakes, Kenyan dishes, all sorts of juices and smoothies, etc. It was all really delicious and wonderful, but honestly, I would be very happy with just a tenth of the selection. The other day in the slum I asked two boys what their favorite foods were. One answered "rice" and the other "ugali" (a corn-meal mush). I asked them if they like Pilau (a common Kenyan rice dish with rice, spices, and carrots or peas) and they answered that they had never had it before. It was pretty eye-opening to compare the variety we get in our diets to what these kids survive on. Food is simply nurishment to them-- they eat everything and anything they receive, because food is not plentiful and there is no guarantee when they will eat next.
When I hit the light switch in my hotel room, about seven different lamps turn on. It's pretty crazy, just coming from a home that didn't have any power for days. The houses in the slum do not have electricity. Food is cooked over the fire, and there is no running water. My room has a mini-fridge, microwave, electric safe, and hair dryer. Had I been to a hotel with these things a couple months ago, I probably wouldn't have blinked, but it all seems pretty over-the-top now.
My room has a luxurious bathroom with unlimited hot water. When I was at KCC, I used to think how incredible it would be to give the kids a real bath. So many of them are covered in dirt and dust, have runny noses and ring worm, and wear tattered and soiled clothing. I imagine that none of them have ever had a bath in a bathtub in their lives. They most likely bathe with the dirty water from the river/stream that runs beside the slum.
And last, the service here is so attentive to your needs, that it just makes me feel a bit uncomfortable. When I arrived I had a private tour of the hotel and all it's facilities and I was greeted with a cup of passionfruit juice. The concierge was extremely friendly, and even called my room during the evening to make sure everything was good. It's very kind, but it doesn't seem right how guests are treated like royalty here. There is definitely a clear distinction between subordinates and superiors. I almost feel a bit embarassed to be a guest here. I've been trying really hard to show my gratitude to the staff, but I feel like I represent a spoiled and privileged foreigner (which I am, I suppose).
Anyways, I am not trying to complain about my night here. It has been incredible and I feel so blessed to have gotten to stay in this amazing hotel free of charge. It just feels odd to end a month of volunteering in such an extravagant place. I'm thankful to have this experience now though, when I can see the stark differences in lifestyle so clearly, rather than in a few months or years when I will probably be less sensitive to the living conditions of those in the slums. Hopefully this experience will make me more aware of all that I have and don't need, and more willing to give to those who live without.
